Our mouths were watering in unison. And then suddenly, without much warning, I lost my lunch. The V-word is out of the question because it summons up images of the actual offensive substance.
Sure, the evening before, I had enjoyed an ample and delicious dinner, then made my way to the Gin Joint and enjoyed several rounds—maybe five, maybe ten—of a house specialty: cool, delectable, and remarkable Manhattans two ounces of Woodford Reserve bourbon in which the finest shade-grown Connecticut tobacco leaves had been infused, plus one ounce of Carpano Antica sweet vermouth and four dashes of Angostura bitters, all poured over ice and drained before much dilution had occurred , while enjoying cigars rolled using the infused leaves.
Yes, I had celebrated to excess, which I very rarely do these days, and yes, perhaps I deserved to suffer an upset stomach. But not four days of intestinal punishment. Later, on the way home from LaGuardia Airport, I needed to ask the cabdriver to pull over at a trash can on the corner of Fifth Avenue and Thirtieth Street, where nobody would recognize me.
What had caused my affliction? Somebody at Vogue suggested it was a bug. A bug? What is a bug? A beetle, an ant, a butterfly? A bacterium, a virus? They cause everything except for toxoplasmosis, which starts with a protozoan parasite.
An unwelcome creature had been living in my body and might still be luxuriating there, waiting for its next meal. The nerve! I toyed with the possibility that I had been poisoned by the nicotine dissolved in our Manhattans from the infused tobacco leaves. I sent an urgent e-mail to my consulting physician in such matters, Andrew Weil, M. Yes, we had drunk a nicotine solution in our cocktails; nicotine can produce death in insects and reverse peristalsis in humans, but not such a small amount of nicotine.
His conclusion was that I had experienced gastroenteritis, either viral or bacterial. I had had a bug. Either way, I felt an urgent need to clean myself out, to perform a cleansing. And so when I returned home from Charleston by way of that trash can on Fifth Avenue, I started looking into it.
There appear to be two major categories of cleanse, the juice cleanse and the Master Cleanse. The former seemed so much more attractive. I love juice. One of the thrills of traveling to the tropics is the variety of exotic and delicious fruit and the juice squeezed therefrom. Then I read warnings that basing your cleanse on sweet juices, with their high glycemic index, will do you no good. For a week I procrastinated. My fear was that I would fail after only a few days. Finally, with my wife, Caron, joining me, I plunged in.
The first sign of trouble began on the third day with two powerful headaches—one for each of us—from coffee withdrawal. So Caron resumed drinking it, though modestly. I, who am a six-cup-a-day coffee abuser, found I needed only an aspirin and later a half-cup of java. Painkillers are not among my toxic vices, probably because I rarely get headaches, and one aspirin nearly always does wonders.
Entirely on my own, I had stopped taking all of the pills that I swallow every morning. But now I was becoming so uncomfortable that I resumed all but the antacid, which I hoped should not be necessary. My doctor had offered to help me taper off everything, at least temporarily, and I will certainly try that next time—if there is a next time.
I had gone cold turkey without pain, without regrets. Elise and I made a sorbet from the Master Cleanse lemonade, and it was quite refreshing but too tart. What started as an alternative cure for stomach ulcers in has become one of the most popular detox regimens ever—the Master Cleanse. In , Burroughs published a book version of his program, The Master Cleanser, which has been revised and retooled by many.
Was founded by Jack Schwartz in The Master Cleanser, also known as the Lemon Cleanse and the Maple Syrup Diet, is a body and mind detoxification program created by alternative medicine performer Stanley Burroughs in Burroughs states that it is a detoxification program that aids in the removal of allegedly harmful, nonspecific toxins from within the body, as well as a reducing diet for loss of weight, a cure for ulcers and a general panacea.
The program recommend to fast on a concoction of fresh lemons, maple syrup and cayenne peppers as well as an herbal tea for a period of 10 days but some people stays on the cleanse for a longer period of time.
Recently, celebrities such as Beyonce, Jared Leto and Naomie Campbell have been using the master cleanse. The concoction made from lemon juice, maple syrup, cayenne pepper, and water, six to twelve glasses per day, each glass containing about calories in sugar carbohydrates. Our unique location in the Eastern Townships Quebec provides our maple orchards with the clean air and pure water necessary for out trees to produce the purest maple sap.
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